Did you know that
gluttony is a sin.
It isn't one we talk about much.
But it is a
sin.
I learned yesterday that gluttony is
my sin.
Though the call to fast came on Tuesday, I didn't get the request until Wednesday. I had just finished my bowl of Frosted Flakes when I sat down for my morning blog reading. One of my favorite sites is Heather and Janiel's blog from NWHCM. It was there that I read Jody's call to fast for Haiti and decided now was as good of a time as any.
It was a great day of prayer. I found myself talking more to the Lord than I did when the kids were in Haiti. Mainly because I felt hungry all the time. (even though looking back, I never really got so hungry that it hurt) thoughts of food riddled my day. Every time I thought I was hungry, my thoughts went first to satisfaction, then to God. It was a great reminder to pray. Better than prayer bracelets, better than writing "quiet time" on my hand, better than post it notes on the bathroom mirror. I spent time in the word at lunch and journaled every chance I could. It was good.
It was also bad. Bad because I realized that I am spoiled rotten. Of course really, it's the being spoiled rotten that's bad, the realizing it - is good. I was overcome with gratitude that my biggest decision of the day was telling them we couldn't go out to eat before church and that we would have to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches if they were hungry. I didn't have to decide which one of them could eat. I didn't have to decide if I would feed my 9 year old or my 16 year old, my 13 year old or my 18 year old. I don't have to abandon my two oldest kids to their own provision for existence. I drank water yesterday, but I didn't have to walk any where for it, and it wasn't dirty, I didn't get it out of my toilet. I got it out of a dispenser at work that is cleaned regularly because government regulations demand it.
I held a plate of birthday cake and thought I was doing a spectacular pat on the back job by not sticking my finger in it to taste. And though I really did hold it and pray for Haiti, thinking of them and their struggles... I found myself a little prideful that I was resisting.
I learned yesterday that I like food way too much. I have to read books on how to "Lose it for Life" because I enjoy it so much. I check my Body Mass Index to see if I am too fat - I don't eat to gain strength, I eat to entertain myself. I don't eat when I am hungry, I eat when I want to. I eat what I want to. And there are people in this world starving.
Now don't get me wrong. I know that it isn't a sin to live in America. And it isn't a sin to be blessed with the ability to fill my refrigerator and provide for my family. But it is a sin when the thoughts of food and eating come to my mind more frequently than the struggles and pain of others, than the desire to fellowship with God, than the thought to serve. When what are we going to have for dinner? and I think I want a cookie (as I sit down to eat 5 or 6 or 7) are the thoughts that consume my mind. Maybe my mind is on the wrong thing.
I think I have some work to do.